The RUF Internship, Not What You Thought It Would Be

Catherine Brewbaker  |  November 14, 2013

The RUF internship is not what I thought it would be. I applied for this job because I am a “people person” and wanted to learn more about ministry. I had no idea that Jesus was leading me to a place and a job that would dissolve and deconstruct my categories for what it means to know and follow Him.

Being an RUF intern has brought me to the end of myself. In a world that tells us “you are what you do”, and “all problems must have a solution if you work hard enough to find one”, this job flips everything upside down.

This internship has shown me the ways I fight against my need for a Savior, and believe the lie that I am enough, and that my story is at the center of the universe.

Jesus has loved me enough to show me my arrogance, and to gently show me that I am poor and needy. This is not just good news – this is the best news, because He is powerful enough to save poor and needy people like me.

I have been faced with stories of pain for which the best education in the world cannot offer a solution, and I have seen God’s power and love work in ways that I did not know were possible.  

I thought this internship would be a learning experience – I would learn how to “do ministry” – counsel, lead small groups, plan fun activities, etc.

Rather, it has been a season of “un-learning” – deconstructing what it means to love Jesus and believe the Gospel. Growing as a Christian does not mean working harder or becoming a holier person, it means becoming a more loved person.

It means abiding more and more in Jesus, and less and less in my own abilities and efforts, and this changes everything. This means that to love someone is not to change them, but to enter into the scary, uncertain chaos of their lives without an agenda, believing that Jesus is enough for both of us.

“See, what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are!” - 1 John 3:1.

Knowing this love is the true “work” of the Christian, and it is a love that transforms calloused hearts like mine.

Do not expect to do this internship and emerge more confident in your strengths and abilities – but do expect to become more enamored and confident in the finished work of Jesus’ death on the cross, and this will change your life.